Every night, when I tuck my boys into bed, we read a story. A few nights ago the book of choice was The Runaway Bunny. If you aren't familiar with it, basically a little bunny tells his Mama that he's going to run away, and she responds with how she will pursue him. The little bunny comes up with a bunch of different ways to evade her, and his Mama responds to each scenario with a renewed promise to bring him back to herself. In the end, the little bunny decides that trying to outrun his Mama just isn't possible, and he might as well just stay put and keep being her little bunny. It is an endearing tale that is intended to demonstrate a mother's unfailing love for her child. I have read this story many times before, first as a nanny in my 20s and now to my own little bunnies.
However this time, about halfway through, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to my soul, "Me too. I will always pursue you and bring you home to My Heart. No matter how far you go, or what you try to turn yourself into, I will find you and bring you home."
You see, God and I have been in a fight. Well, I have been in a fight. God has been sitting quietly beside me on the couch, waiting for me to get past some things. I have been mostly stewing and occasionally throwing a pointed glare over my shoulder when yet another thing goes horribly wrong. It has been months of set backs and devastating developments. And I don't mean little things. We have had months of really big problems. We are tired.
I am tired. And I am angry.
But God is still good. In spite of my frustrations with how my life is currently unfolding, God has been faithful to keep speaking. Most of what we have been saying to each other isn't fit for public consumption, but suffice it to say, there have been lots of David laments from me and the occasional Job repsonse from God. And even when I tell Him that I'm done with all this nonsense and I'm running away, He gently reminds me that there is nowhere I can go where He is not. That there is no place I can hide where He cannot see me. That there is no development in my life that is so bad that I will be beyond His grace and provision. He will never stop loving me and pursuing my heart.
So I might as well stay right here and be His little bunny.
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