I hate doing the dishes.
I enjoy playing in the kitchen, making food for my loved ones. It makes me happy to see their smiling faces as they dig in to something I have spent time creating. Cleaning up afterwards though? Not so fun. Today I baked a cake, made icing for it, made apple sauce and started thawing bananas for muffins I plan to make tomorrow, and made dinner. Unfortunately that means my sink is full, and those dishes will need to be dealt with eventually, whether I like them or not. But when I'm running on fumes, things like doing the dishes feel impossibly big. But then the pile grows, which saps my mental energy. Which then makes the task seem even more impossible. You can see how this quickly spirals out of control. I end up paralyzed by shame and exhaustion, so that even the simplest of tasks becomes something beyond my capacity. The problem is that, because nobody ever really sees this part, it's really easy to just put off digging myself out and getting back on track.
The things that are generally considered productive in our spiritual lives also come with a lot of behind the scenes work that is not always pleasant. Things like volunteering in children's ministry, running youth events, running a Bible study group, or helping out with Sunday service, will take a toll on our internal resources and can use up our spiritual "pots and pans". Eventually you will have to spend some time cleaning house, or you will run out of the things you need in order to continue in ministry. Things can get so bad that even the basic spiritual disciplines seem like mountains too high to climb. But because they are the hidden, unseen things like prayer, studying the Scriptures, or examining our own hearts and behaviours, it is really easy to put them off. And then we run ourselves even further into the ground.
The solution to getting out of my dirty dish tailspin can be as simple as doing just a little bit, every time I go into the kitchen. Then I can dig out from under it in manageable chunks. It may take a little longer than a headlong run at the mountain, but it makes it less likely that I will burn myself out trying to get caught up. It also makes it less likely that I'll find myself right back where I started next week. I try to manage my spiritual tailspins the same way. Small manageable chunks. Prayer can happen whenever I think of it, wherever I am. I can post small bits of Scripture on note cards all over the house. 5 minutes may not seem like much, but it adds up over time. There are a myriad of small ways I can build up my emotional and spiritual reserves. Week long retreats alone in the woods, digging deep into the Bible are fantastic, but not always practical. Sometimes you have to work with the little bits you have now, in order to build up to bigger things later.
It is important to take time to do the little things as you go along, to try not to let it get that bad. But sometimes life gets crazy busy, or you get thrown a curve ball that knocks the wind out of you. What do you do when you just can't face climbing the whole mountain right now? It's okay, because God is in the little steps too. You just need to keep your heart moving towards His.
One dish at a time.
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