Two years ago today I pressed publish on the first post for Holy Here. I had been working on setting things up for a while, and if I'm honest I had already had the first post sitting in my drafts for several days (weeks?) before I finally found the courage to just do the thing. Well, courage might not be the right word. Panic? Pressing guilt for spending money on something that felt selfish and indulgent that produced an overwhelming need to justify it by actually having people be able to read what I wrote?
Yeah, that one.
Either way, here we are. The first year went by so fast I missed the opportunity to mark the day, and this second year has been.... sparse. I have been so focused on surviving the exhausting string of less than desirable events that I haven't made much time for hunting down and sharing the Sacred in the Ordinary. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been happening, I just haven't been giving it enough of my attention. I haven't been soaking it into my spirit and letting God speak to me in the moment.
It's a pattern I have, and one that desperately needs to change. When life is overwhelming, I get locked in my own head and I lose my ability to see what is right in front of me. The more focused I get on surviving the current season, the less I can actually see and appreciate it. Because even here in the hard parts there are beautiful and holy things to experience. And it is especially important to spend time looking for them during these seasons where everything seems to be falling apart.
I am learning that this is not a place for filtered versions of life, made more palatable by staying silent when it feels like things have been too hard for too long. It's about learning to recognize God's personal and intentional involvement in all of it. It's about expecting and watching for His hand in all aspects of the day-to-day realities of living in this broken world, so sometimes it will include sifting through what feels like trash, to find those treasures. So although my life is still heavy with things that are not easy to carry, I am going to spend more time intentionally pausing to look around and see what God is doing. I am going to let go of my need for everything to be "just so". I am going to choose to be present in this garbage season, waiting with expectation for whatever comes next. I'm going to make time to record and share it here with you, and trust God to take it where it needs to go.
However, intentions are nothing without accountability, so may I ask you for a favour? Will you help keep me on track? Ask me questions. Send me encouragement. Share your own stories of how God is moving in your ordinary, sacred, everyday life with me. Help me keep my eyes wide open and my heart fixed on the glory of what God is doing right now.
With all the Holy Here.
I really like your openness & vulnerability. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself with words! What you wrote resonates with me! Life certainly can get difficult, but our focus makes all the difference.